Pero no estoy Contenta!

One of the Spanish words for “Happy” is “Contenta” or content. We are taught in Spanish classes in high school that one should actually say, feliz or alegre both of which are correct but, when talking to a native Spanish speaker in Spanish you would tell them that you are “contenta.”

This fact, though it seems trivial, dawned on me a year or so ago. I was independently studying Spanish at the time, preparing for ministry in some Spanish speaking country. It made me realize that- the word happy is alright but to be content is a better form of happy. While in Chile when I would tell people that I was “contenta” I would often stop and think, “am I content?” Usually the answer would be yes, I was loving the trip, satisfied (usually) with the work I was able to do there, and thoroughly happy and grateful that God had given me the opportunity. Now, when people ask me how I am doing or how it is to be back home in Spanish I would have said, “Estoy muy contenta.” It is a good thing I do not have to answer in Spanish here in the U.S. because “Estoy muy contenta” would be lying. I am not content.

“So, big deal!” You are thinking- “who is content? And why does it matter?”

“For I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Right now, that verse haunts me. To be completely honest and open, here are the things I am not content about:

1. I am only working three days a week, I am not busy enough.
2. My car is broken and not worth fixing, I want (need) a new one.
3. I am 23 and still don’t know what God wants me to do next, I want clear direction (and I want it now!)
4. I am 23 and I am not married and have no boyfriend and therefore - marriage in the near future is unlikely, what I want here is obvious.
5. The list could go on.
Basically, I don't know where my life is going- and with that, I am not content

So, I have just proved to myself that I am not content even though I should be content with whatever stage and place I am in life.

Now, how do I achieve the state of contentedness? There are a lot of “Christian clichés” that would help me in this situation like- “let go and let God” “just trust Him” “Pray about it” but, I don’t want those answers. I want to know what you all (if there is a “you all” out there) would do to fulfill Phil. 4:11 in your life. What would you do to make yourself content with where you are and what you are doing?

If you are reading this and don’t have a blog name to leave me a comment- just send me a message in my facebook inbox, because I’d really like to know what you think.

Love to all!
Lizzi