Nonsense

I am going to write a bit of nonsense in this blog purely as a writing exercise. I read my blog posts today and realized on paper I am quite a serious person. That made me surprised because I am never serious about anything in person! (Usually on a daily basis that is). So, here it goes.

Every superhero has their enemy, their arch nemesis. I, being the heroine of my own life story, also have an arch nemesis. The enemies I face change with time and place and on how soon I can defeat them. I have found one enemy that is unconquerable- crickets.

Black, ugly, loud bugs that have a fondness for chewing on clothing. I HATE THEM. This year we have an epidemic of these creatures on the Briggs “farm.” They are under our cabinets, our couches, in our closets and any other dark place they can find to hide. When I come into my room I must announce my arrival so they (the enemy) can run and hide before I turn on the light and discover them.

While Sarah (the little sister) was home and an unfortunate cricket happened to emerge while we were in the room the sighting would end up in a slapping, jumping, yelling match.

The scene: We are both watching tv on our wonderfully comfy leather sofas and suddenly Sarah whispers my name, “Lizzi, give me your flip flop.” She is squinting intently at a spot on the floor about two feet away from me with her tongue between her teeth, poised over her top lip. (That is her “something is going to die” look) I catch the enemy in my sight and slowly slip off my neon green flip flops, one for me and one for her. We take our positions.

The next minute is a flurry of slapping and flashing green. We jump around trying to keep it from getting under anything and smack as hard as we can, missing it half the time. Finally we are victorious, settling back in our spots on the couch and our enemy’s carcass lying crushed on the floor. We leave the bodies for daddy to pick up :)

My theory is though, if I leave the bodies around any cricket in the vicinity will see the corpse of his dead friends and think, “I better not enter here, this is the cricket massacre place.” and turn around and leave. This may sound disgusting but, after leaving one dead cricket on the floor I have a week without seeing another one in the same room.

Maybe autumn will give me some relief.
Love to all!
Lizzi

A Scary moment

Friday I worked; thirteen hours running around with food, drinks and such (waitressing). Had an insane night (which will probably be the subject of another blog). Got home, ate dinner and sat down at my usual, favorite spot- the computer!

While I was checking my email and etc. my dad casually asks, “So, did you feed the cats this morning?” Why does he always ask me this? I always feed the cats (well, almost always) Now, if I only had the two stupid cats, Teddy and Bob, I might always forget to feed them. But, the cats will always be fed as long as I have George.

** Me- “Yeah, I fed them.”
Daddy- “Ok, was George there this morning?”
** Me- “Yes.”
Daddy- “Did you happen to see any of the cats when you got home?”
** Me- “Well, I saw one running away. But I don’t know which one it was?” What was he getting at??

Daddy- “Oh, well, I saw a cat George’s color on the side of the road”
** Me…… Silence, Silence. I think my heart may have stopped beating.

There is a special bond between a girl and her best friend. Some one to hang out with, to talk to for hours on end, to laugh with- even if this friend happens to be small, furry, and orange. There have been times in my life when I realized that George was my ONLY friend. (Which is pretty sad when I think about it now) I have a friend that listens to me whenever I want to talk, doesn’t bore me, doesn’t get mad at me, doesn’t scold me, doesn’t judge me, is always around (when I’m home anyway), and who scratches up the back deck, bites me when I try to pick him up, and leaves dead moles at my door. He is perfect!

Now, he was possibly lying on the side of the road, stiff and ripe to be buried. I’m sad to say that my first thought was.- “Oh crud, I wonder if daddy will let me use his gun to shoot the two stupid cats so I can get a kitten.”

I didn’t say anything, I just sat there for as long as I could possibly stay still. Finally I got up and went out the back door yelling his name to kingdom come. He didn’t come. HHmmm- maybe I should start asking for that gun, it might take a while to convince my dad that getting another George was necessary to my sanity.

I went back inside, through the house, and out the front door- and called again like my life depended on it. Bob, a stupid cat, meowed and jumped up on the steps. “I don’t want you! Stupid cat!”

George came from around the corner. My heart started beating again. I scooped him up and he made a deep growling noise in his throat. I didn’t care. Him not being dead got me out of having to shoot the stupid cats. I told George I was glad he wasn’t dead and he just kept on growling at me.

Just a bit of nonsense.
Love to all!
Lizzi